"We have to make videos featuring the legend of Tim Payne. We have to get Tim Payne on everyone's lips." Argentine influencer Valen Scarsini said that. Within 48 hours, it had actually worked.
The 32-year-old Wellington Phoenix right back — a utility player for a mid-table A-League club — is now one of the most-followed footballers on Instagram heading into this summer's World Cup. Not Lamine Yamal. Not Cristiano Ronaldo. Tim Payne, from New Zealand, who plays his club football in Australia.
Scarsini's original video framed Payne as possibly the least-known player at the tournament and called on his followers to flood the defender's social media. The internet obliged at a speed that can only be described as unhinged. Payne now sits at 3.9 million followers — more than any NHL franchise, and trailing only the LA Dodgers and Yankees among North American sports teams on the platform. He also has more followers than the New Zealand Football Association itself.
No Payne, No Gain
The phrase has gone properly viral. An AI-generated song — Spanish lyrics, comparing Payne to Ángel Di María, framing him as a legend your grandfather once spoke of — has soundtracked dozens of clips. The comment sections of every major football account are filling up with his name regardless of context. Messi drops a pass? Tim Payne would never.
Payne, to his credit, has handled it with exactly the right tone. "It's been a pretty crazy 48 hours to say the least," he posted to Instagram. "I'm very grateful to be representing my country at this World Cup, and I appreciate all the love from around the world. Muchas Gracias."
New Zealand open against Iran in Los Angeles on June 15, then face Egypt and Belgium in Vancouver on June 21 and June 26. Those Vancouver matches were already shaping up to be well-attended — large Kiwi and Australian communities have settled along Canada's west coast — but Payne's sudden fame adds a layer nobody could have scripted.
Vancouver might rename a coffee shop for him
New Zealand supporters are lobbying Tim Hortons — the Canadian coffee chain with 48 Vancouver locations, many near BC Place — to temporarily rename one "Tim Payne's" for the tournament. Tim Hortons has form here: they've renamed menu items before during playoff runs, including swapping out "Boston Cream" branding when Canadian teams face Boston in the postseason. A World Cup-themed rename isn't far-fetched.
As for the actual least-followed player at the tournament? That title belongs to Curaçao backup goalkeeper Trevor Doornbusch, sitting at 1,700 followers with 11 days until his nation becomes the smallest ever to play at a World Cup. Nobody's making AI songs about him yet. Though give it time — Scarsini is clearly paying attention.
